It's not. It's not, it's not, you think it is, look, look...

[Something about having both of her hands in Rebecca's makes her voice start to crack.]

You think, but it's not.

I've done...so many mistakes. Over and over. Back and forth.

I never get punished, it's always everyone else, never me, have you seen––have you seen my wall of dead or missing friends? It's pretty big and it's only getting bigger...bigger and bigger and bigger and I'm still here, letting everyone fall down in my place.

'Becca, 'Becca, Rebecca.

[she squeezes her hands]

I'm so fucked.