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[Where is that ringing bell coming from? What about that whistle? Is it the kitchen? No. The garden?

Still no, but you're getting warmer.

Han is waiting for everyone on the field, whistle in his mouth, and bell on the ground (because his hand got tired of ringing the damn thing).]

Finally! Alright, 1, 2, 3.... Do we have everyone here?

[close enough. He then says easily,]

We've got a fun activity today. We're doing trust falls.

Falls. As in multiple.

I expect you guys to partner off-- and don't just stick to someone you know!

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[HE'S A PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE REVOLUTIONARY, SORRY.]

It's not that I don't want to experience this program to - no, it's exactly that. I don't want to be here.

Well, I'm optional, but you should still do them with someone else.

Or what? You'll punish me?

[In my defense, you should have made him less hot if you wanted us to flirt less.]

[this is a fair, absolutely fair callout]

Well-- yes? Somehow?

Then I accept my punishment. What would you like me to do? Black you boots?

[It's funny because he doesn't have the actual memory that phrase goes to.]

I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that one.

[he scratches his chin, and then.]

... I'll give you wine?

[no han, no]

[not sure if trick or]

Oh no. What a horrible punishment.

Do you want an actual punishment or a bribe? C'mon, I'm trying to be nice here.

How much wine will you give me?

[It's like Scooby Snacks, Han. You gotta give him at least three before he decides it's worth it. One isn't even enough to get drunk on.]

[this is why han shouldn't run trustfalls by himself. he's weak.]

Uhh. A bottle?

I can't even get drunk on that, professeur. That's the amount of wine one drinks at breakfast with friends.

[If I were Victor Hugo, I would type an entire aside here about the sewers to explain how the utter lack of water sanitation until the late 19th century is partially to blame for Grantaire's alcoholism. Instead, I'll just tell you that wine? It's like fucking water to him.]

I am concerned that a bottle is not enough for you, and yet.

[he doesn't have enough money for this?? wine's not cheap.]

2... bottles?

[Just buy him a box of Franzia, Han!!! This is the exact situation box wine was made for!!!!]

Three and I will even consent to doing this ridiculous exercise with one of my fellow classmates.

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