[ She is making him forget all about how sketchy this whole situation is right now. ]

Yep! It's short for "applications". If you touch the icon for the one you want, it will open up a new screen with more things to look at. And you can always come back to this main screen by pushing the home button at the bottom of the tablet again -- the one you pushed to turn it on.

[ in other words, if you want to back that A.S.S. up ]

The Tasks one doesn't seem to work, but...

[ He points to the icon with the picture of the person on it. ]

Try touching the Profiles icon, and you can learn a little about everyone here.