locked_down | Week 4

[God, Poe was hoping that theory he made at the beginning of this was wrong. But.... it sounds like he was right. But... what does that mean for the world Shirou left behind? Can he even go back...? Poe knows he wasn’t supposed to hear any of that... but he can’t just walk away.]. I.... was hoping my theory about you was wrong.

Well, looks like you were right after all.

[ The way Shirou carries himself, the intonation in his voice... it's all wrong. Even if he should honestly be uncertain, it's obviously more relaxed than one can expect. ]

The farce had to end at some point, though; it's honestly better that it's sooner rather than later. Even if "Emiya Shirou" lasted much longer, with his warped personality, well. It doesn't change much in the end, really. Since I guess we're both messed up!

I see...

[He's... not sure if he should touch that also both messed up thing, so... He'll ask about that later, but first things first... ]

Since you are not Emiya Shirou.... does that mean you don't have anywhere to return after all this?

[That's what concerns him the most right now.]

[ He honestly shouldn't-- it would probably be bad. But then he asks that question and manages to relax his shoulders and shakes his head. ]

I have something that I need to finish, first. I'm the one who caused the loop, after all. So I need to return things back to the way they used to be. I promised that I would end it, with my own two hands.

I just need to go talk some sense into that woman so that she can live.

[Poe nods and puts an hand to his chin in thought.]

Of course... my offer to help with that still stands by the way... but um... regardless of if you still accept it... I must ask.

[He's fairly fond of Shirou and if he's a fake... then does he even have anywhere to go in his world??? And... Poe is extremely well off with all the money he eared being ranked 3rd in The Guild...]

After you resolve that time loop... do you plan on remaining in your world? If you are not 'Emiya Shirou'... then do you have anything to return to? Because.. um... well... I... uh... would... very much um... not uh... want you to be alone there. Or um... not have anywhere to go there. And. Um. Well... if you don't have an identity to resume back there... I ah... am very well off due to my work back home... So um... I... could take you back with me and see if I could get papers forged so you would have an identity in my world. And um. You could ah... live with me. If um... if... you want.

[Poe's having trouble looking at Shirou directly as he's forcing all this out. He's... not great at talking about his emotions, or voicing his opinions... and remembering those six years of almost total isolation from socializing with others really eroded his already poor social skills... but he cares about Shirou and feels responsible for him after being the one to dump this theory on him in the first place. And... Shirou is a good kid, regardless of who he really is. Poe... doesn't like the idea of him having nothing to return to and being stuck out on the streets or some other horrid fate. So... he's forcing himself to speak despite the anxiety screaming at him internally right now. He's aware that suddenly showing up and living with Shirou would be strange... and he can't just bring him to his world and let him go on his own... but that could probably be solved by claiming Shirou as an... adoptive son or something. That... would be the easiest way to avoid questions. Oh god... he is not qualified to be an father in anyway shape or form?! Poe gulps and promptly cuts off that line of thought. He can freak out later if Shirou decides to come back with him. For now. Offer.]

There... is no Emiya Shirou in my world... so you don't need to worry about the other one I assume is out there. Though ah... you can call yourself whatever you want. I just... want you to be able to continue living peacefully, regardless of whatever identity you choose to label yourself. You... still are the person I've known and grown to um... greatly c... care about in these last few weeks. Be you Emiya Shirou... or whatever you wish to be known as from here out... I... I um... I will support you fully.

[God, he is terrible at these emotion talks. But.... he had to offer.]

Edited 2018-09-03 02:47 (UTC)

I can't. Once I go back and do everything that needs to be done, I will disappear. The fake will switch places with the original like nothing ever happened and I will go back into the nothingness where I belong.

[ Because that's what he is, after all-- he's nothing. Not in the proverbial sense, but actually quiet literally. Once it's over, he can no longer keep this form of Emiya Shirou.

Everything will shed away.

His memories. His physical being. Even his personality. Maybe having his abilities sealed is what makes him continue to be a person to begin with. ]

Even if someone were to take me with them, they would have to form a contract with me and provide me with magical energy. But as for my identity-- you seem rather well read. Have you ever heard of the name Angra Mainyu before?

Angra Mainyu.... from Zoroastrianism?

[Why is he even surprised at this point? Sure, that's real now too. That's not what's concerning right now anyway. The idea of Shirou- Angra- or whatever he wants to call himself just disappearing... it's painful to think about.]

Okay... this complicates things.... but hm...

[Should.. should he tell him? ]

I... I know this is going to sound crazy... but it's possible that you might have already done that, but instead of disappearing... have been brought here instead. These people... are capable of doing the impossible. I... am not going to say their name for the sake of secrecy... but one of our fellow apprentices came to me last week to talk about the memory he regained. In it... he died. I even received photographic proof of it happening. Yet.. he is still alive here now.

[Still... ]

So... until you have regained all your memories... we can't be sure that your world is looping anymore. And even if it is.... do you really think that the rest of us would just accept you disappearing? I know Kurusu-san wouldn't. Besides.. all these worlds I've heard about... they sound impossible. And yet... they exist. And there are probably more out there. Probably ones even more ridiculous. It's... a long shot... but... perhaps there's someone or something out there in the... multiverse I suppose it could be called... that could save you.

[~~The Book probably could... but Poe isn't aware of it~~ Poe... figures he should ask about the contract thing as well]

As for forming a contract... I'd be willing to if it's possible for me to... and if not... then would Waver be able to?

[It all but states on Waver's profile that he's a magic user. The connection isn't hard to make.]

That's right. But that was just the name I was given-- I'm not actually that guy, y'know.

[ There's a shrug of his shoulders, laughing a little bit. ]

In reality, I'm just some unknown guy. I'm nothing. Quite literally, in fact. Besides, dyin' and coming back to life ain't something new. I remember dying a lot. So many times, in fact.

[ He can't stop laughing. It's kind of weird to have some semblance of control, even if he's aware that this personality of his won't last for long. ]

I don't know. The memory I got was recent, so I probably... well, if it wasn't looping anymore and I ended it, well. I probably wouldn't have been in this form anymore. This isn't my true form, after all. And well, formin' a contract... it's something that mostly people with high magical ability can do. Since it's a strain on the Master to provide mana for the Servant.

...Well. There is another way, but I'm sure you won't like it at all! And Waver-san is actually from the past of my world. I told him about the Holy Grail War, so he's probably going to attempt destroying the grail. But you see, that would mean that he's going to kill me. That's how it was supposed to be, after all. I gotta die so that everyone else'll be saved. Then again, the 'me' in the grail-- the tainted me that doesn't have a personality and is nothing but the demon that the people wished for-- will destroy so many lives.

[ He stops, for a moment and then his voice shifts. The way he speaks goes back to the way it was. As Shirou. ]

I won't be sad, though. There's nothing to be sad about. This was how it was supposed to end. Besides, my personality isn't real to begin with. It was just a fabrication-- one that was created using the person possessed by the 'nothing' as a sample.

[That's....]

You.... have powers in your normal form then... correct? It... it could be that you're in this form, simply because of what they did to bring us all down to normal. We could... see if they could just not turn it off. If you could stay this way.

[Poe's face hardens. He may be fond of Waver, but don't think he won't try and stop him if Waver might kill Shirou with whatever he's going to do.]

As for Waver... what is this Holy Grail War? What is a Master? What's a Servant? Is... is that related to what Alexander was asking the first day we were here? Also... You said you need to be destroyed so that everyone will be saved... is... is there no other way?

[And as for that personality thing...]

Does it matter if the personality you have now started out as a copy of someone else? People are dynamic creatures... you are already different from the Emiya Shirou your personality came from. You have new memories now that he will never have. Memories of this terrible experience, yes, but memories nonetheless.

Guess I have to start from there, huh. Guess I'm stealing Tohsaka's role...

[ As the one teaching a clueless person about what the Holy Grail War is, anyway. But where to start... ]

Simply put, the Holy Grail War-- Fuyuki's Holy Grail War was a ritual, where seven people, magi, the Masters summon Servants of different classes. The seven classes are Saber, Lancer, Archer, Rider, Caster, Assassin and Berserker. These Servants, however, are Heroic Spirits. And heroic spirits are generally ancient heroes from the past. There are a few exceptions, though, but I don't want to make this too complicated.

Anyway, each Master is then granted Command Seals.

[ He lifts his left hand, revealing the command seals tattooed on there. ]

These Command Seals are what prove that someone is a Master. And it allows them to command their Servant for up to three times. If the Master loses all their Command Seals, they lose their right to the Grail, along with the ability to keep their Servant intact in this world.

Angra Mainyu is an exception... in regards to the class system. He was summoned as an Avenger, but was sucked into the Grail before the fourth Holy Grail War. That's when he became a demon that people wished for. Because Angra Mainyu, he...

He was a useless nobody. A person whose name isn't recorded in any history books. Nobody remembers it. Not even me. He was used as a sacrificial lamb to pay for everyone's sins. In order to keep people pure and free from sin, they threw all the sins onto one person and deemed that person "all the evil in the world". That's what tainted the grail. I told you, didn't I? About the Fuyuki Fire? It was Angra Mainyu that caused that. And Angra Mainyu also caused Sakura so much pain...

[ He hates it so much. He wants to curse himself to hell for that. It hurts. It hurts. ]

I... suppose that might be true. But I always acted like Emiya Shirou in those situations. A lot of it was due to the memories that I have of that past.

This... um... this is a lot to process. Just... give me a moment, please.

[Poe quietly listens to the explanation about the Holy Grail War. He... thinks he understands how this is functioning now. At the end he just.... counts to three and tries to control his emotions. After a few moments, he speaks.]

Okay... I have one last question I have about the Holy Grail War. What happens when the Grail is claimed? As for the rest of what you said though...

[A tightly controlled anger slips into his voice.]

What was done to Angra Mainyu... was ridiculous. People are never going to be pure and free from sin.... Whoever thought that just... foisting all their sins onto one person and calling them "All the evil in the world" would do that... they were an imbecile. There's always going to be more sin and evil in the world. And... As for Angra Mainyu causing the Fuyuki Fire... did Angra Mainyu do that knowingly or did it simply happen?

[There's a huge difference in culpability between the two.]

Finally.... consider this. You are Angra Mainyu, but with the memories and personality of Emiya Shirou, correct? And along with the new memories made here... could you be considered to be neither of them... but an combination of them? A new person, if you will.

What Illyasviel [ he usually never uses her full first name, but... does he really deserve to call her Illya? ] told me was that... the War is a ritual to achieve a miracle. The Third Magic -- Heaven's Feel -- which is the materialization of the soul. The Holy Grail War was meant as an application to allow someone to have eternal life. However, since the Grail itself is just a swirl of magic, it could be used to grant a person's wish.

But that wish wouldn't be properly granted in the end, due to the fact that the grail was corrupted to begin with.

In the end, all the Masters were used as tools for the summoning ritual. Because they needed the souls of the Heroic Spirits to recreate the Third Magic.

[ tl;dr: The three founding families of the War fucking suck. ]

It wasn't just a single person who did that -- it was many people. They needed a scapegoat and just a random person for it. And that's how he became Angra Mainyu. He took on everyone's sins and died with those sins carved onto his body. [ He's stating this rather matter of factly. ] As for the Fuyuki Fire... no, he didn't have any control over it. At that point, Angra Mainyu was just simply as I said before. He didn't have any shape or form. He was simply a hollow shell. One without a personality, or name, or even a real body.

That could be possible. If I'm a completely new person. I'd... like that. But I can't stay like this forever. I promised that we'd one day find the object that turned off everyone's abilities and either turn it off or destroy it. And when that happens, I probably won't be able to hold onto this form.

[A wish... well... it makes sense why people would wage a war over such a thing.]

Then at worst the Fuyuki Fire was Involuntary Manslaughter. But really... can you even be blamed for those deaths anymore? If Angra Mainyu wasn't sentient... then wasn't he just essentially the weapon used to cause the Fuyuki Fire? Shouldn't the one who released him be blamed?

[As for the object that turned off everyone's abilities....]

That object... do we even know exactly how it works? Depending on how it does... there could be ways we could work around it. Everything has limitations... and I'm sure this object probably has them too.

[It could have an specific range... or it could be modified to target only Shirou/Angra. Or... God, Poe knows he's reaching, but if it's possible, then he does not want to loose someone he actually cares about to something other than murder. If there's a possibility for Shirou/Angra to live... then he's going to try and find it.....]

It's true that he was summoned on purpose, as they wanted to win the war. But... they didn't know that the grail would get tainted when he lost due to being so weak.

[ He shakes his head, however. ]

I don't know. What I do know is that... I don't want my powers to be sealed just simply to keep me around.

....I see.

[He's... not happy with this answer... but... it's not his choice in the end.]

So.... then the you we know now... will either disappear at the end of this... or die here.

[Both terrible options.]

Edited 2018-09-03 08:19 (UTC)

I'd say either option is fine, but... it's only natural that someone who was nothing to begin with would only return to nothing, right? That's why I can't hesitate any longer. I've decided.

I want to spend the most time with everyone before either of those things happen.

If that is your decision.... then I'll respect it.

[This is fine. Right. Well. Time to ask the other probably important question this brings up.]

Right... um.... do... do you... do you still want to be called Emiya Shirou... or do you want to be called something else?

Ah... my name, huh?

[ He shrugs. ] I'm not particularly attached to either of my names. So the name of the host is fine.

Alright... Emiya-san.

[He pauses.]

Are you... are you planning on telling the others?

Of course. I'm planning on telling them on Wednesday. After all... we're stronger together and not apart. I can't have something like this rip me apart. Rip all of us apart.

.... Know that whatever the others think I.... I will... I'll stand by you.

[He sounds awkward, but he means it.]

You're the second person that's acknowledged me, so... thank you.

There is no need Emi.... Shirou-san. You... you should be acknowledged.

Not everyone would think that. But... I appreciate it. Really.

Edited 2018-09-04 05:30 (UTC)

Week 4

Simulation room

Re: Simulation room

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