The Lockdown Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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locked_down2018-09-01 08:15 pm
lockdownmods) wrote in locked_down2018-09-01 08:15 pm
Week 4
[ It's now Week 4 at Fayflower University. With the new week comes another memory, and a new floor to explore. That's nice, after everything, right? Right, of course it is.
However, other things have changed besides the floor access. The wall has always been a point of contention after the fiasco in week one. And then the frog, and now the investigation. However, going within three feet of the wall is oppressive now, in feeling. It feels as though you're being watched-- and targeted for something.
Be careful~]
However, other things have changed besides the floor access. The wall has always been a point of contention after the fiasco in week one. And then the frog, and now the investigation. However, going within three feet of the wall is oppressive now, in feeling. It feels as though you're being watched-- and targeted for something.
Be careful~]
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Max, you fucking know better than this! What the hell were you thinking?! Do you have anything to say for yourself?
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It's my fault.
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[ Hank's extra touchy about Connor, I'm sorry Max. ]
What do you even think Connor would think if he saw you were doing this?! Do you think Connor would want to find you getting drunk and hurting yourself because of him?!
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Tell me how you really feel. Are you mad are you mad that Maxie is being so bad?
"Oh, oh, Max is so good, Max would never do this."
"Max you're an everyday hero."
"Max is so good, good, good, good."
"Max Max Max Max Max."
I'm not strong, I'm not a hero, I don't have superpowers, so I'm sorry that you're disappointed that I'm not holding up to my sterling reputation! How long did you...you––you people think I could keep this up for!?
I'm just a fucking kid! [she slams both her hands on the table, starting to breathe heavy and fast.]
I'm a FUCKING KID!
cw: suicidal ideation
You're a fucking kid! A fucking dumb kid, what the hell are you doing getting drunk?! What the fuck happened to your hand!? Can't you fucking talk to me before—before making the same damn mistakes I did?! For fuck's sake!
[ I promise he's very concerned. He's just. Not. Thinking. ]
I may be fucking old, but I spent all day yesterday thinking that Connor was dead. Now I have to find you—find you doing this?! Max, I'm fucking suicidal! I've been suicidal for three goddamn years, what fucking part of your teenage brain thought that doing this was better than fucking talking to me?!
LIFE IS STRANGE SPOILERS
Stop fucking yelling at me! You're not my fucking Dad!
[she tries to get up out of the chair but trips over its legs, stumbling onto the floor.]
God, shit, fuck. [she tries to get up to her feet but...it's hard.]
And stop trying to guilt trip me! I'm upset about––I'm––Connor...Well, guess what. Guess what!. [Max finally manages to get up on her feet, at which point she promptly makes her way over to Hank so that she can try to shove him.]
I'm not any good, [shove] I'm not...I'm not a precious little girl for you to––to stroke her hair [shove] and say you love me so much you love me you love me you act like you love me, but I'm not I've been doing this for so fucking long! Give me a break break break I need a fucking break Hank! [the shoving becomes too much for her and she just kind of...slumps against him.]
I just keep––I just keep––I can't go back, I can't keep killing my best friend over and over...Everyone around me just dies and gets hurt and I've never ever been able to fix it without making it ten fifty times worse!
And look what I did to you, and to Connor, and to Yoosung and to Chloe and her Dad...God, this fucking week, Hank! Some people can't talk, can't see, and where do I get off, huh? Everyone has to live with this horrible shit, where do I get off only losing my fucking sense of taste!? Why do I get superpowers and Chloe gets fucking shot and killed!? Why am I so special!? How am I allowed to keep doing this when I KEEP. FUCKING. UP!
[her heart is beating a mile a minute and her entire body is shaking as her eyes squeeze out teardrop after teardrop against Hank––even as she beats repeatedly on his chest. Gasping and choking on her own snot and flem, she finally ends her tirade by mumbling unintelligible things into Hank's chest.]
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[ Too bad Hank isn't drunk for once, so Max's shoves don't move him at all. He reaches out to hold her up though, not letting her fall to the ground again. He's mad, yeah, but he's still here for her. He's mad because he's here for her.
He lets her cry. Lets her be mad. He just stands there and takes it, because that's what you do when you're dealing with kids. You let them tired themselves out. ]
You didn't do any of that shit, Max.