it only hurts for a moment - you get used to it quickly

[swordsinternally]

[ After everything's said and done, Shirou's going to go ahead and set things up for today. It's the same as always; nothing has changed-- but he still wants to believe that there's something worth in doing this, so he'll at least go ahead and do that once he's given out notes (or told a person verbally, one on one) under their door, a small neat note stating: ]

For those who don't want to be alone today:

I know it's been a hard month. And I know it's probably going to get even more difficult from here. But I don't want anyone to give up just yet. If you'd like, there'll be food and drinks in the simulation room.

- E.

[ And for those who decide to make the trip to the simulation room, they'll find themselves walking into what seems to be a karaoke bar! Shirou's made it pretty spacious and there is, in fact, a table set up with some food for everyone to take - primarily burgers and ramen (hell, there's a bit of ramen burgers, too, the Biggest Cancer) - that he's made the decision to make, so feel free to take it, and he's willing to even get drinks for everyone, too.

This includes virtual drinks, as he actually has some experience working at a bar, even if it was more menial tasks and less bartending. But hey, there's a first time for everything, yeah?

And there's also the option to sing your heart out-- although that might not be the most appropriate, given the last execution, but he's. He's trying, anyway. ]

Comments

[throwabookatit]

I'm not. I just... It was the first book I found.

Isn't that funny? The damn first one.

[swordsinternally]

It's definitely ironic, but.. I wouldn't say it was funny. All of this is honestly a mess.

[throwabookatit]

It is. More than you... More than I can even begin to comprehend.

[ She's taken to fiddling with the drill around her neck again. Fingers drifting from its rough edges to the feathers she's strung on to the necklace. ]

[swordsinternally]

... yeah.

[ It's the only reply that he can manage to muster up, sighing a little heavily. ]

I feel like I've lost yet another five hundred years, and I'm already old.

[throwabookatit]

...I hadn't realized it. Just...how old you really are. You still look so young... [ A humorless smile. ] What's another thing to shake my perception of reality, huh?

[swordsinternally]

Well, I mean, this is Shirou's body in a way, so of course I'd look a lot younger than I actually am. Not that my true form would make me look any older or anything, hah.

[throwabookatit]

I suppose I can't say you're wise beyond your years, as I first thought.

[ She doesn't quite know what to say. ]

...I think...at least, you're a good grounding presence. Moreso...than some of us. [ A little self-deprecation there. ]

[swordsinternally]

Nope. I'm a goddamn idiot. With the exception of a few things, like mythology 'n swords and crap like that. Besides, being wise beyond your years is kinda... boring, I guess? I mean, you learn a lot, sure, but it's kind of like, experience more than anything.

[ He laughs a bit, in a way that's a little pitiful. ]

But thanks, I guess. It's probably because of all my experiences that I didn't, y'know, break the rules in the first two weeks and died then and there.

[throwabookatit]

[ i see what you fucking did there ]

Whatever keeps you alive, I guess. Especially in a place like this. But, I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. You've kept your head, most times, when things have gotten heated.

[swordsinternally]

It's... easy to keep yourself level headed when you've seen much worse.

[throwabookatit]

[ ... ]

...To see all of us turn on each other... How does that...feel, to you?

[swordsinternally]

The 'Shirou' part of me hates it. More than anything else. Then again, I guess I'm living on borrowed ideals that were borrowed to begin with.

But, as for me? Personally? It's kind of like the crap back home. Humans are prone to sin -- 'specially in an environment like this. Some people can't handle the pressure when it hits them and some can. That isn't to say that I like it either, since we're essentially being treated like lab rats to an experiment of "oh, let's see which of these assholes is gonna be the most resilient and live out over the rest". It's honestly pretty fucked up, even if they're going with the concept of 'kill less to save the many'. Because that makes it all the more better.

Trust me: it doesn't.

[throwabookatit]

It's more of the same, then. [ She signs, lightly. ] I'd hoped...maybe you'd see something better, than all that.

But, in a place like this...that's likely impossible. With the bawbags running this.

[swordsinternally]

That's humanity for you.

[ He shrugs his shoulders wide, shaking his head. ]

Of course, I'm not saying that all of humanity is bad. Just that because they possess both good and evil that they can make options as cruel as this. Because people are the ones who can reproduce any evil, in the end. But at the same time... if we are to believe even a sliver of what they say, especially what Han-san says, it's like they're searching for some sort of hope to take them out of the darkness. To "save" them, because they can't do it themselves.

But it's cruel. This sort of thing... isn't beautiful at all, even to a messed up person like me, who can find beauty in the ugliest of things. They're just making people suffer for their own self-righteousness. And I doubt they can even guarantee that their "experiment" will even work and find what they're truly looking for.

[throwabookatit]

This was of looking for a "savior" takes even the very concept of it and warps it. How they're looking for...the most pure people possible. Ones that could be immune.

[swordsinternally]

The problem with that is if they're looking for the "most pure", that's already messed up thinking; people weren't pure to begin with. Maybe it might be true, but at this point it's just self justification righteousness. They're just telling themselves that they think this is the right thing to do. It's nothing new, really. Besides, they have no right to judge who is pure and who isn't.

[throwabookatit]

Oh, believe me, I agree with you. All of the blethering that fool Hale went on about-- it's utter shite, nothing more.

[ ...Well, Shirou actually being really old means she doesn't really have to keep her tongue around him, right? ]

I don't care who believes in it, who doesn't, in their organization. This isn't their way to fix the...the stupid D-756 problem.

[swordsinternally]

[ He's actually pretty fine with it to the point where it honestly doesn't bother him in the slightest bit. Hell, he doesn't even comment on it. ]

You're right. I don't know why they made the decision to turn to creating motives for murder, but... there's always another way. That's something I believe in, at least.

[throwabookatit]

They're going about all this in the most convoluted way possible, it's almost laughable. It would be, if we weren't...

[ She looks back down to the open book, and then pushes it away. ]

The girl. The one he talked about. She wasn't dead. He just didn't remember.

[ Their memories... They keep deceiving them. ]

[swordsinternally]

So in the end...

[ It didn't even matter-- wait, wrong band. ]

I still don't get it. Why did we forget these things in the first place? And why are our memories surfacing every Sunday?

[throwabookatit]

It's intentional. It has to be intentional. The regaining, at least. What are they...doing with all this...?

The more we dig, the less we know.

[swordsinternally]

You mean "what do they gain", right? It sounds like something they would do on an experiment-- see how a closed environment of people react to losing memories and regaining them. That's just a guess, though.

[throwabookatit]

Yes, but why that? If they're most focused on the virus.

[swordsinternally]

That.... I don't know. I'm not an expert on that sort of thing. That'd probably delve into dealing with the human brain or something like that.

[throwabookatit]

[ She sighs. ]

I guess...it's another thing to bother Hale with.