i'm just young enough to still believe, but young enough not to know what to believe in

[throwabookatit]

[ What do you do after all that?

Well, you mourn. After...an hour or so, a note goes out, under everyone's doors- everyone's. ]

If you also don't want to be alone after the day we've had, come to the second floor of the dormitories. Food and drink will be provided. Alcohol will be confiscated immediately.

[ You'll find Rebecca's set up the common area with food, that she seems to keep supplying, every so often. It's kind of strange, though, she seems like the sort of person to harp on eating well? She definitely has, for some of you. Yet, the food seems a strange split. On one side, there's all kinds of fruits and vegetables and breads. Legumes, made maybe not the best, but it's still an effort. Vegetable soups, no meat in sight. Simple seafood. If you're familiar with Greek culture? Yeah. It looks a lot like something they'd describe in...a history book.

On the other side? God, it's all burgers and pizzas and...pineapples? Pineapple juice? What the heck, Rebecca? In any case, there's enough food to keep everyone fed, and it seems...Tess, oddly enough, keeps bringing batches of burgers from the kitchen?! What a team-up.

The Starbucks is open too, where it's a bit...quieter? Some tea and coffee set up, there.

For those who just want to cry, in peace. ]

Comments

[throwabookatit]

Shh. No "should've"s right now. ...You can't shake the what if's. I know. But... He wouldn't want you to beat yourself up, either.

[ososoi]

B-But...

[ His grip on the crow plushie grows tighter. ]

...I-I don't remember much, but one night, I told him "Don't let me die.". And he said "I won't.".

[ He laughs bitterly at the memory, at the irony. ]

I should've told him the same thing. That I wouldn't let him die either. But I didn't.

[ He shakes his head, tears slowly springing to his eyes. ]

Because I'm a fucking idiot.

[ Then again, what could Osomatsu possibly do to prevent Hank from dying? ]

[throwabookatit]

[ Her throat closes up, just a bit. She opens her mouth, tries to find words, and needs to take a moment. ]

...Just telling him wouldn't have been enough. It- it's not...our faults. I told him- ...I told him so many times, that- even though he- he thought...

...

He thought he didn't make it, back home. But I... I told him... he was alive. And we were going to keep it that way, weren't we?

[ She almost smiles, but it's a raw, pained thing. ]

So you see, all that'd leave you with, Osomatsu...are more regrets.

[ososoi]

...

[ His bandaged hand moves to hold onto the magatama on his necklace. ]

...M-More regrets, huh? [ His voice is shaky. ]

[throwabookatit]

[ Her eyes travel from the magatama, down to her own drill and feathers.

And she nods. ] Seems like we can't escape them.

...But...we can help each other carry them.

[ososoi]

...I-I...

[ His grip on both the magatama and crow plush tighten further. ]

G-God, I--!

[ His body starts trembling. ]

I-I just--! I just want this all to stop...!

[ 'I just want to go home.' ]

[throwabookatit]

[ She wraps her arms around him. It's awkward, strange, but it's warm. ]

I know. Me too.

[ososoi]

[ As she hugs him, there's a pause. ]

[ And then, all the pent up grief Osomatsu had been trying to bottle up come pouring out. ]

[ Tears stream rapidly down his face as he begins to sob helplessly against her shoulder, still clutching the magatama and plush crow in his hands. ]

[ He would've usually felt guilty about how weak he looking. But right now? He doesn't even care. ]

[ ...Why couldn't things have just stayed simpler? ]

[throwabookatit]

[ She squeezes her eyes, tight. She can't find any reassurances. She can't find anything to say. Just choking back her own cries, holding him tighter.

She hates it. How used to grief, she's gotten. ]