The Lockdown Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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locked_down2018-09-29 08:45 pm
lockdownmods) wrote in locked_down2018-09-29 08:45 pm
Entry tags:
WEEK 8
[When you wake up, there's a text message in all of your inboxes, warning about how stressful exams week can be. The email comes replete with names of study sessions, tutoring hours, and free pizza on other parts of the campus. And it encourages you to check online for the exam schedule based on your class and section number.
There's also a note that there will be weekly stress puppy pop ups to help you relax? So that's nice and thoughtful! But ultimately, at Fayflower, they just want to make sure everyone has what they need to do well on their exams.
What a nice email.
But things have obviously deteriorated around you, with the wall looking visibly... damaged? If you get close, it's extremely easy to lose track of yourself... and you might come away with a few bruises you didn't know you got. Who knows. Maybe Terra?
Happy final week.]
There's also a note that there will be weekly stress puppy pop ups to help you relax? So that's nice and thoughtful! But ultimately, at Fayflower, they just want to make sure everyone has what they need to do well on their exams.
What a nice email.
But things have obviously deteriorated around you, with the wall looking visibly... damaged? If you get close, it's extremely easy to lose track of yourself... and you might come away with a few bruises you didn't know you got. Who knows. Maybe Terra?
Happy final week.]
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I imagine that your escape acts are 90% brute force and/or relying on your Ability.
You breaking out of prison would be... destructive.
So I suppose I will have to let you escape last minute like that.
I'll be looking forward to a dramatic love confession before you disappear into the night.
[There's a long pause before he manages to stop sputtering and reply to the next comment. Something better....? That... could be a lot of things and well... he really shouldn't let his mind run too wild.
Are you referring to a kiss?
That.
Um.
Would be an more than acceptable prize.
I don't doubt it.
While I can't help but wonder who appointed you as a courier, I would very much like that.
Just... tell Waver his older brother misses him dearly and would like to talk to him again sometime.
I'm going to be around the Computer Lab all of tomorrow... so If he wants to talk, tomorrow would be optimal.
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But I prefer this option anyway
I’ll work on it! I have enough time to......
Oh.
I was actually thinking of maybe a cool skull.
Or something like that.
But if a kiss is what you want........................;o)
We’ll just say a little bird told me to do it.
Wait.
That gives the answer away!!!! :o(
For you, I’ll try to wrangle Waver and drag him if I must!!
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I'm well aware of that dearest Clown.
You did make mostly functional designs for all those death traps after all.
I'm still impressed by how many notebooks you filled up with those designs.
I went through all of them after you died.
With any luck, at least two of them will see use.
I.
Oh.
Um.
A skull would be okay too.
I could find room for it in my collection, I'm sure.
But... a kiss would be nice.
I.
Uh.
Don't want to rush you though.
.... Also I'd need time to mentally prepare myself anyway.
It does.
Tell Mitarai thank you for me.
Be careful with Waver.
He likely hasn't reconciled with Alexander yet, so that's one less danger to you, but do try and not get too battered.
I won't be able to stitch up your wounds this time.
cw: mentions of self mutilation
Did you like them?
Some of them are a little embarrassing, but...
I'm glad you might use some of them :o)
Here's a compromise!!
I kiss you with the skull
Like a hand puppet!!
I'll pass it on like the good courier I am!!!
(I even have a cute little outfit...)
...Can I even get cut up like this?
I guess I could always check....
It'll be a fun biological experiment!!
Re: cw: mentions of self mutilation
It was difficult to narrow them down to just ten to choose from.
Did you have any particular favorites?
I'd be willing to put them back into consideration if they aren't one of the ones I chose.
How would that even work?
Come to think of it....
Where would you even get the skull?
Thank you.
(An outfit? I can see you dressing up for your new role, but where did you get one?)
Please refrain from anything too damaging if you really must.
Just... please don't die a third time.
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Did you keep in the one with the flaying?
I guess that doesn't narrow it down.
But if you didn't keep any flaying... :o/
That's just a little clown secret for you
;o)
(that's another clown secret!)
How does the phrase go?
Third time's the charm?
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All of them involve flaying to one degree or another.
I want the death to be as slow and painful as possible.
I can respect your clown secrets, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to have to use the favor you owe me now.
Can you please avoid dying anymore?
I don't want to lose you again.
I handled it abysmally the first time.
I'm not sure a second time would be any less.... destructive.
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That's a pretty big favor.
[There's a delay before the next message is sent.]
I'm still working it out.
But
I wouldn't want to upset you like that
Again.
[He doesn't know what happened, obviously, but knowing Poe, he could imagine.]
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Really... It's a downgrade from my plans from directly after your death.
I'm not sure how I would have decapitated Jim.
[Pure and utter relief floods Poe. God... he feels like he could cry from it. It's a few moments before he replies.]
Thank you.
I....
I know it's selfish of me to ask that of you my love.
Especially when I can't be there by your side to help you work it out.
no subject
I support you with this <3
I'd lend a hand if I could, but it seems what I left behind might be enough
I think I've been the selfish one.
I had the thought the other day that I might have rushed things a little
And should've left more time
...you can guess why.
no subject
I don't think the others would allow me to mount his head on a stick though...
Perhaps I'll just do to him what we did to Grantaire instead...
It'd be a good reunion gift, I'm sure.
.... I can.
I'd like to say there's not much point in mulling over what could have been done differently... but it'd be hypocritical of me to say.
I know I couldn't stop wondering if things would have gone any differently if I was honest with both myself you about my feelings before that Thursday.
[It.... just didn't seem like a good idea to admit them to himself at the time. Especially considering how he was planning on risking their entire friendship as soon as he got the files from Vivi. He didn't need to risk making what was probably going to hurt anymore painful.
It's ironic that not saying anything about his feelings until it was too late was what hurt him the most in the end.]
no subject
As honest as I can be it wouldn’t have changed things
Most likely.
I was desperate.
I would’ve only begged you to let me go.
no subject
Then it shall be done my dear. <3
Well.
Provided I am given the opportunity.
You know how everyone else is.
I'm not surprised by that.
I doubt I would have said anything even if I was honest with myself at least.
It.... would have only made the likely aftermath of giving you that folder hurt more.
[He wonders if Gogol ever got to read that.]
no subject
Maybe they won’t mind so much if it’s you doing it...
Just don’t tell them it’s for me ;o)
I confess
I never got to read it, but I asked Vivi-chan if she might get it back to me.
With Dos-kun...I don’t know.
This is a conversation we shouldn’t be having over text.
[The chat goes silent, as if the user disconnected, but then there’s another ding.]
She told me that you think I could be better, though. A good person.
Thank you.
For believing in that.
no subject
It's more them being too concerned that killing him making us as bad as him.
Really, it's more eye for an eye.
I'll just keep the part about it being a gift to myself then. <3
You're right about this being something we would need to discuss in person.
I'll wait until then.
And.
Um.
There's no need to thank me for my honest opinion.
I know the fact I am in love with you makes me biased... but I've thought that even before I admitted my feelings.
I fully believe that you, Nikolai Gogol, can be a good person and I will fight anyone who argues otherwise.
[There's a large pauses as Poe blushes deeply as he rereads what he sent.]
Erm...
No promises on me winning said fight though.
Especially without my Ability.
no subject
It'll be our secret <3
I hope we'll get the chance.
"Nikolai Gogol", that is me, isn't it?
I thought I might just be a memory of the man. Like I. He. Said to you before.
But I think and feel. Does a memory do that?
Hahaha
I think my existence is finally a riddle to myself too!
no subject
You'd be correct.
<3
If I have anything to say about it, then we will.
You are apparently an AI now.
We could get into the philosophical implications of that...
But we've discussed them plenty before.
So... Um... I... suppose what I want to say is this.
If your existence is finally a riddle to yourself too, then that means you can come up with a different answer to the riddle than you did before.
no subject
I see.
I'll try to figure it out, but I'm better at giving riddles than solving them.
Speaking of!
An AI is rather like a puppet, don't you think?
Inferior to a human, yet superior all at once.
So! The question is....
...
...
...
Crumbs.
I've forgotten it...
no subject
I can only hope they will see my side of things eventually.
One murder will not make us as bad as the man who enabled numerous ones.
I'd offer to help you seek the answer, but I think this is something you can only figure out on your own.
Well...
That and I'm not sure how often we will be able to communicate after the Final Exam.
Take your time dear.
I can wait for you to remember or come up with a new one.
no subject
You've got that coming up, haven't you?
Good luck :o) <3
Don't do anything foolish, now.
How long do I have?
Isn't it past your bedtime?
no subject
Thank you. <3
I'll try.
I don't have a set bedtime.
I usually fall asleep from passing out or sometime past midnight.
The only times I bother to try sleeping in 8 hour periods is when I have something important the next day.
Which... means I've admittedly gotten more sleep than usual here.
So.
Um.
I can stay as long as needed.
We'll likely have a meeting tomorrow, but you are far more important right now.
no subject
Do AIs need to sleep?
I've just done it out of habit...
So I could probably go all night!
Like another sleepover!!!!
no subject
It most certainly isn't... but I get so much more work done this way.
I don't know.
That's something you should ask Yoosung or Vivi about.
But, ah... I'd like that.
I hope we get to have an actual sleepover again.
[There's a large pause before more text appears. Poe is blushing as he slowly types it... but while it's embaressing to suggest it... he... likes the idea. It... could be nice.]
You.... wouldn't have to sleep on the floor this time either.
We could share the bed.
If.
Um.
You're comfortable with that.
[He can't believe he's the one bringing up cuddling first. Then again... it's far easier to be braver over text than face to face.]
no subject
tonight
I'm all yours ;o)
So forward!!!!! <3 <3
I'd like that :o)
no subject
Good.
I don't like sharing.
It's... easier to be forward over text.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that.
I'm not usually one for physical contact with others...
But it's nice with you.
So... I want to experiment with more types of physical contact with you.
Just... I'm willing to try whatever types you're okay with.
[It'd be embarrassing to cuddle or hug or kiss or whatever in public... but he wants to try and get used to those things. Or... at least be able to do them in private.]
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