locked_down | Doki Doki After Party Club

Doki Doki After Party Club

[Later into the evening, everyone will find familiar handwritten notes on their doors. It's pretty obvious who it's from:]

"Please come to the cafeteria if you don't want to be alone or talk some things out. Emiya (Shirou) will be preparing food. You're also welcome to bring your notebooks if you'd rather just write with company." ---Monika
[Those who decide to come will find nothing has really changed in the cafeteria, but Monika sitting at one of the tables while Shirou cooks in the kitchen. She has a new stack of notebooks and pens with her in case someone needs it. Monika does her best to greet everyone with a smile. The only real comfort though is the smell of good food.]

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[ Shirou is, of course, here and of course he's cooking up a storm. Of course that isn't to say that he isn't here for conversation, but he's a little distracted by cooking that he might not actually say anything to anyone, but... he'll definitely respond to those who talk to him, maybe.

But people might notice that, just like the trial, there's no trace of emotion in his eyes. ]

[Monika is helping with getting the food out so people can eat, but when it's a little more quiet, she'll stop and stand near him for a moment.]

Emiya... are you okay?

...huh? Yeah, I'm fine.

Well... you don't seem fine.

You think so?

[ He can't help but smile a little pitifully, trying to laugh it off. ]

Maybe I'm just upset that I can't do anything.

[She doesn't smile or laugh back.]

It's not your fault though. You can't put that blame on yourself.

Maybe not. But... I can't become an ally of justice like this.

Ally of justice? Like... a sentai?

Something like that... but a little different. My goal is to be able to save everyone. And I can't do that like this.

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[ Today has been abysmal, but he's not about ready to call it a day, as he comes over noticing the red head's state. ]

Hey, you got a minute?

Huh?

[ This manages to have him snap a bit out of his reverie, to say the least. ]

Yeah, I do. What is it?

I was checking in on you, actually. You seemed... a little out of it earlier.

[ And now too, is the implication.

He wonders how he's not looking like Shirou, actually. But maybe it's because he's gone through this already -- still, he did lose someone he cared about. ]

Ah... really? It's just that I actually was thinking about a conversation I had with someone during the motive.

[ He doesn't seem to be bothered anymore, instead laughing it off as if it were normal. ]

[ Even if Shirou was, and Terra has a habit of easily overlooking what people did or said, as well as having believing what they said at face value, this place has easily taught him to do otherwise.

Plus, given what happened? No one could possibly be that cherry so quickly, but he'll go along with it for a bit. ]

You were? Was it bothering you?

Just a little bit.

[ The laughter at least has subsided to the point that he has, at least, calmed down to the point where he can speak somewhat normally without completely freaking out. ]

Because I thought that if I were to act on that motive... it wouldn't have been for myself.

[ Shirou...Terra is still having a concern. ]

What do you mean by that?

[ After that headache of a trial, he's hesitant to assume that by what anyone means would be for just a single person--it could be for something "much bigger". He grimaced a little at the thought. ]

[ When he replies, it's a little quiet -- but there's something there that seems a little sad. ]

If I wanted to be selfish... I'd want to bring back my old man. Not for myself, but for Illya, who was left alone without him for so long. But, what happened also kind of reminded me of what someone else once said, to. That saving one person means not saving someone else. And that sometimes, being an ally of justice could potentially mean killing one person to save a thousand lives.

But-- I want to think that there's a better way to save everyone, without having to resort to murder.

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[ Mm. That's not a good look, Shirou. Akira keeps out of the way of the cooking, but does slide his torso somewhat onto the counter, leaning his folded arms on the surface and lying his head on them.

He's tired. ]

Did you need a hand?

Edited 2018-08-26 13:17 (UTC)

I'll be fine on my own.

[ An immediate response, almost automatic; at least the emptiness that his emotions have shown definitely seem to recede for a little bit, but there's something about his expression that's still... not all there. ]

You look like you might slice your hand off - like you're looking without really seeing anything.

[ And that seems.

Bad. ]

I'm not going to disarm myself... I know better not to let that happen in the kitchen of all places.

Really?

[ He lifts a hand to wave it at Shirou's face. ]

I did say you looked out of it. and you're holding a knife. That's not the best combination.

Yeah.

[ He just... puts the knife down. ] You really shouldn't worry about me, though.

It's sort of my thing.

[ Oh good, at least the knife is down now. ]

You've been out of it since the before the end of the trial. Do you want to talk about it?

To worry about others instead of yourself?

[ ... Shirou, that's probably a bad way to phrase it, but he doesn't seem to be referring to Akira with those words. ]

It's okay, though. I'll be fine. I just... thought about it, a bit. What we talked about, before. Along with some things my old man told me.