Doki Doki After Party Club

[myliteratureclub]

[Later into the evening, everyone will find familiar handwritten notes on their doors. It's pretty obvious who it's from:]

"Please come to the cafeteria if you don't want to be alone or talk some things out. Emiya (Shirou) will be preparing food. You're also welcome to bring your notebooks if you'd rather just write with company."

---Monika
[Those who decide to come will find nothing has really changed in the cafeteria, but Monika sitting at one of the tables while Shirou cooks in the kitchen. She has a new stack of notebooks and pens with her in case someone needs it. Monika does her best to greet everyone with a smile. The only real comfort though is the smell of good food.]

Comments

[lovedanime]

[No, this is not a good sign. Not to stigmatized low or distorted affective empathy, but in his own experience, Mitarai has met multiple people who could smile after holding a removed head, and it was never a good sign.

But he also didn't know those people to stay in a corner and ignore him. They approach. They encroach upon safe territory. Mitarai at least strategized this out to be surrounded by witnesses. He tightens his grip on his fork.]

...I've never exactly had a big appetite.

[curseoclock]

Oh, yeah? It's just a regular thing, then. Not feeling sick or anything?

[lovedanime]

...I didn't say that.

[He puts down the fork.]

I would really... really rather not get into this, if that's alright. Was there something else you wanted to talk about?

[curseoclock]

Oh sure. Hey, I know! Let's talk about classmates.

That's a fun subject, isn't it?

[lovedanime]

.........

[The smile freezes on his face like a gummi worm dropped on the ground.]

It is sometimes...

[curseoclock]

You seemed to have some strong opinions about them, during the trial. Well. Mainly one.

[He grabs a chair and sits down in it.]

Let's talk about that.

[lovedanime]

[Mitarai's face crumples like a paper bag.]

Well... I know that... during the trial, I said a lot of things... and, and I'd understand if you thought I couldn't take back those things... but... Listen. Kim-kun was not the most useless one here or someone who should have died, or anything like that! Alright?

[curseoclock]

Ah, but you still said it. Isn't that weird? You completely turned around.

So what's with that?

[lovedanime]

No! That's even not what I said! I said he couldn't find a way to be useful here! He wasn't the person I hated the most or something, or the person who was the least useful here! And that has n-n-nothing to do with deserving to die!

[curseoclock]

Right.

But you still called him useless, even if you're trying to make it sound better now.

[lovedanime]

Well...

[Henry is right. Mitarai bites his lip giving serious consideration to the possibility of further articulating his intention that "couldn't find a way to be useful here" is much softer than "was useless". But if Henry was going to hear it that way, he would have heard it that way in the first place. He turns his head away a little.]

If you made up your mind about me when I said that... and you don't want me to make it "sound better"... just why are you talking to me?

[curseoclock]

Is that what you do, when you've got a problem with someone? Just avoid them?

I wanted to know what you'd say.

[lovedanime]

I mean—

[The precise track of the eyes makes it really obvious that Mitarai has just enough typically polite behaviors to avoid saying out loud Yes in answer to the question "Just avoid them?". Skills: Running Away.

Is... is Henry in his own way... trying to fix the problem between them? Mitarai hadn't given this possibility serious thought until now. He really thought Henry just wanted to torture him for fun or something. Maybe he's projecting. Again.

Another second passes before Mitarai figures out how to say anything.]

I really can't say it to the person who needed to hear it, you know...?

[curseoclock]

Hm.

You're kinda messed up, huh?

[lovedanime]

Um...

You really are a direct communicator, Henry-san.

[curseoclock]

Yeah, usually!

Are you gonna tell me that I'm wrong?

[lovedanime]

I don't really know what to say. "I'm a strong person" would be a lie and bragging, while "I'm a weak person" would be complaining about my problems... There's no good option...

[curseoclock]

Ah, see, there's your problem. Being messed up's got nothing to do with being strong or weak. You're looking at it totally wrong.

[lovedanime]

[He literally just gives him this huge stare like he said up and down have nothing to do with what floor of a building you're on]

[curseoclock]

I mean, come on. Look at me. I'm all kinds of messed up, but I sure wouldn't say I'm weak, either!

[at least he's... aware...?]

[lovedanime]

[MITARAI IS

REALLY

NOT SURE HOW TO TAKE THIS AWARENESS]

Well... there are many kinds of strength... but... ummm... whatever kind of "being messed up" is, um, still different from how I want to be... you know?

[curseoclock]

Hmm...

[He gives this some serious (we think) thought for a moment.]

It's a shame we're stuck here and all, because usually I'd say that's easily enough changed with a little curse. Too bad.

[lovedanime]

C-Curse?

[He recoils way too much practically like his reaction to all the death stuff at the trial]

[curseoclock]

Yeah? You know, a little dark magic. It's kinda my specialty.

[lovedanime]

That's...

[you'd think he was going to say not real but]

Nefarious! Isn't it?