The Lockdown Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lockdownmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
locked_down2018-09-08 05:53 pm
lockdownmods) wrote in locked_down2018-09-08 05:53 pm
WEEK 5
[ You're doing well! In fact, there's a nice message in your inboxes on Sunday reminding you about your midterm evaluations, and how those will be coming very soon. Make sure you're studying! And, of course, there will be support services on campus to help you cope with the stress. The message almost looks like it should go on and list what those services are, but it cuts off abruptly, and that's that.
Meanwhile, the wall is more ominous than it has been in the past. What felt oppressive last week feels oddly eerie, and if you let yourself stay near too long, it feels oddly comforting and calling. Your freedom is just on the other side of the wall, after all. But that's okay, someone has posted a warning outside all buildings to not go near the wall.
Oh well. At least there are new locations to explore!]
Meanwhile, the wall is more ominous than it has been in the past. What felt oppressive last week feels oddly eerie, and if you let yourself stay near too long, it feels oddly comforting and calling. Your freedom is just on the other side of the wall, after all. But that's okay, someone has posted a warning outside all buildings to not go near the wall.
Oh well. At least there are new locations to explore!]
no subject
.... Do you promise that none of what is said here will leave this room?
[He can't believe he's doing this.]
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Your secret's safe with me.
[ Then he lowers his hand and places down the simulated Keyblade for a moment, leaning it against a wall even if it is fake, before he crosses his arms, prepared to listen intently. ]
Bsd spoilers from here on out.
[Okay... where to start.]
This... is going to take a while to explain... and ah... I'm going to have to ask that you reserve your judgement for the end.
[Because... taken out of context... all that he's going to say is probably going to sound bad.]
Six years ago... a man named Edogawa Ranpo ruined my life. I lost to him in a detective competition... and once word spread... people... people who I thought were my friends started leaving me. Eventually... It just became easier to cut ties before they did it themselves. Soon... I was alone... though really... in hindsight... I'm not surprised that happened. After all... I've never had an relationship... bond... or whatever you want to call it... that hasn't ended badly. Still... it hurt. After that... I gave up on relationships with others. I... I spiraled into a deep depression. The kind not many people come back from.
[...........]
.... But I found a reason to live. To continue on. Revenge. You... would be correct to say I became obsessed. I joined an organization called The Guild and spent the next six years working on perfecting the perfect mystery novel to trap Ranpo in forever. I called it... The Mansion of Tragedies.
[The very book he told Terra to look out for. Poe's very pointedly looking away from Terra. He's... aware of how all this sounds.]
I got the opportunity to try and get revenge when The Guild entered into a war with The Port Mafia and The Armed Detective Agency. I was ranked third in The Guild overall... so I was aware of all it's weaknesses. I sent a challenge letter to Ranpo. He came with an fellow ADA member. I put forth my challenge. If he could solve the mystery of The Mansion of Tragedies, then I would hand over a folder containing all the weaknesses of The Guild. He accepted... so I sent him and the other ADA member into the book. I... I almost won. He almost didn't solve it. But... he did... and I lost. All those six years... were for nothing.
[He has a bittersweet smile on his face.]
..... But... it turns out... Ranpo remembered me. I... was the best challenge he ever had six years ago. Now... he's my rival. I... actually go see him at ADA's office often. He's... very important to me now. I'm... still reeling from suddenly being bombarded with these new... emotions towards him.
[It's... scary how fast his opinion on Ranpo did a 180. He went from hating the man... to
loving... to something more positive.]And... reading his alternate self's biography.... it... really has only made me think more about exactly what my feelings about Ranpo are... and... I'm... I'm not sure what the answer is. The first possibility is that it's just... strong feelings of admiration and friendship. The second possibility... it's... well...
[It's an idea that he would be foolish to accept.]
It's.. a bad idea to indulge in the second possibility. It'd... It'd surely be one-sided at best. There's.... there's no way it would ever be returned.
[But the autobiography put ideas into his head and now he can't stop thinking about it.]
no subject
Not that Terra thought those words exactly, because even though he's from a collaborative game between Square Enix and Disney it would ultimately be too un-Disney for him to think it.
Regardless, he's going to be listening intently to what Poe says -- let it never be said that he's not the type to listen, because he seems like he's doing a pretty good job of that. It's really still a lot, though, because he frowns a little for a moment when Poe tells him of his revenge plan.
However, his expression changes slightly to something vaguely resembling surprise at the revelation that things changed, and then it settles. Terra's glad that it worked out for the better, because in the end, anything before that couldn't have been healthy, he thinks. ]
I don't really understand what's going on with your "alternate self" or anything, but your feelings are your own, not anyone else's. That also goes for whoever might've been going around as you, wherever they were. If you're sure that's what you really feel, then... I think you have your answer.
But, if you're still unsure, then it's something you should still keep thinking on--in the end, I think your heart will guide you to your true feelings.
[ ... ]
...Can I ask why you think it'd be one-sided, though?
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.... Because I'm a mess of a human being who's had zero luck in any type of relationship in the past. If I can't make and maintain a friendship... then what hope do I have for a relationship?
[He's self aware enough to know he's a mess.... but not enough for him to be aware that he's made friends here. He won't realize that unless it's explicitly stated to him. Terra, please show him the light.]
And... well... a rivalry is far safer. Ranpo is... probably the closest thing I have to a friend. Would trying for something more truly be worth the risk.
no subject
[ Poe he will sit you down and show you the light. Sparkling, sparkling splendid. ]
Are you saying you haven't made friends with any of the people here? That you haven't made bonds where you'd trust someone to be by your side when you need it the most?
[ Because Terra has seen how Poe is, and he sincerely doubts this is the case. ]
It could be worth the risk in trying, if you want to be closer to him like that, and you're honesty sure it's what you want. And even if you get turned down, you can still be someone close to him.
no subject
[Is... is it really friendship if it's one-sided? It's... can you just... call someone a friend? Is... is that how that how it works?]
.... How... exactly do you know if someone considers you a friend?
[It's not like he could just ask them. It'd be awkward if they said no and even if they said yes, he would have to explain that he's six years out of practice with the whole friendship thing.]
And... as for Ranpo... I'll um... take your advice into consideration.
[The only argument he has against that is that it'd be awkward if he got turned down... but... he.. sort of always is. So... that's... not really a valid criticism.]
no subject
[ And that's about it. Friendship can never be one-sided--both parties need to meet each other half-way.
...Even though Terra can be sometimes awkward about things, friendship's something he thinks he has covered 100%. As far as he knows, anyway.
Romance...well, he's actually not so sure with that and he's never seen much between two guys until Akira and Shirou, but as far as he's noticed, it seems to be the same way as between a woman and a man is. So, it can't be too different, he thinks. He also...kind of believes that if Poe and Ranpo are really the best of friends, it'll work out no matter how the other man goes at it. ]
I...think it'll go fine, no matter what happens, but I'll still wish you luck.
no subject
Thank you. I.... I think I'll need it.
[As for the friendship definition....]
While I'm not sure how to feel about how that definition of friendship makes the Clown my friend.... I think... that it um... makes it clear that I... I've somehow made friends here.
no subject
It's good to know that I could help you sort out something important.
[ Knowing that you have friends is pretty important, as far as Terra's concerned--no matter who they are, he supposed. ]
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[He... doesn't think he'd have realized this on his own.]
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[ He kind of smiles at that. ]
Thanks for the offer, but I'm not the kind of person who would want to ask for something like that--besides, it wasn't like a hardship letting you know or anything.