WEEK 5

[lockdownmods]

[ You're doing well! In fact, there's a nice message in your inboxes on Sunday reminding you about your midterm evaluations, and how those will be coming very soon. Make sure you're studying! And, of course, there will be support services on campus to help you cope with the stress. The message almost looks like it should go on and list what those services are, but it cuts off abruptly, and that's that.

Meanwhile, the wall is more ominous than it has been in the past. What felt oppressive last week feels oddly eerie, and if you let yourself stay near too long, it feels oddly comforting and calling. Your freedom is just on the other side of the wall, after all. But that's okay, someone has posted a warning outside all buildings to not go near the wall.

Oh well. At least there are new locations to explore!]

LOCATIONS | PROFILES | HAN OFFICE HOURS | MEGUMI OFFICE HOURS

SUNDAY | MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY

Comments

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

[Poe frowns at Gogols leg and huffs.]

It's not as healed as it should be right now... I swear... do you want to worry me to death Nikolai?

[.... It looks like he hasn't realized his slip up in calling Gogol his real first name.]

[sendintheclown]

...

[Gogol just looks at him blankly in surprise for a good, solid moment.]

...Excuse me?

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

[Poe pauses at Gogol's look of surprise. He's said he sort of cares about the Clown. Worry comes with that so....]

..... I've told you that I care about you. Worry... unfortunately comes with that.

[He'd turn it off if he could. That's clearly what the Clown is surprised about here, right?]

[sendintheclown]

[It's not like he doesn't have his own gripes with that, but...]

No, no, no.

[He flicks his hand. Rewind.]

What did you just call me?

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

I called you-

[Oh. Oh. Poe pauses as he realizes exactly what he called the Clown. A big red blush quickly overtakes his face as he resists the urge to just flee in embarrassment.]

...... That- that didn't happen.

[Kill him. Kill him now.]

[sendintheclown]

[That did happen, whether they like it or not.]

Would you like to explain yourself?

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

It- it just slipped out. There's... there's no meaning to it. I just... wasn't thinking.

[He doesn't sort of consider the Clown a friend. Or frenemy. Or something.He does, but admitting that... would complicate things between them, he's sure.]

[sendintheclown]

Really now?

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

.......

[..... He can't lie to the clown, can he? He's just inviting pestering by not saying anything. Ugh.]

Okay. Fine. Maybe... maybe it meant something.

[He's not sure he wants to know what though.]

... But... acknowledging it... do we... do we really need to complicate whatever this is any further?

[Admitting the Clown is sort of a friend is... dangerous.]

[sendintheclown]

I think you invited complication in when you set out on this little venture, didn’t you?

[Like anything else, Gogol will face this with a smile.]

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

..... I suppose.

[It was easy to file Gogol solely into the category of annoying clown before hand. The Clown. But he's gradually become more human the more Poe learned about him. The more he tried to understand. He didn't expect to relate to Gogol in anyway at the beginning of this... but here he is. Worrying over a clown. What has his life come too?]

.... Has whatever this is ever not been complicated?

[sendintheclown]

Shouldn't you be asking yourself that?

[His money's on 'no', though.]

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

...... I think it became complicated before the end of our first conversation.

[Read: As soon as Gogol mentioned Ranpo.]

[sendintheclown]

Haha, there's your answer!

[If Gogol himself weren't enough grounds for making any relationship complicated, the threads that connect them make it doubly so.]

But you still kept going didn't you?

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

I did... although I never would have predicted whatever this is coming out of it.

[He was just planning on avoiding Gogol the whole time until the Clown insulted his writing. Then he just had to try and make something good enough to get him to say he liked it. His pride wouldn't allow anything else.]

... if someone told me four weeks ago that I'd actually care if you died... I'd have thought the person insane.

[But he's sort of used to the annoyance now... and arguing with the clown is just sort of part of his routine now.]

[sendintheclown]

[He laughs, though there's something hollow to it.]

Maybe you are.

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

I'd like to think I've edged close enough to it before to recognize it in both myself and others.

[.........]

....... For the record.. that includes you. Despite your actions and you referring to yourself as a clown to try and distance yourself from your own humanity.... there is logic behind your actions. You are completely sane.

[sendintheclown]

Is that so? [He laughs.] That's quite the deduction.

[Instead of confirming or denying it, he leaves it at that. The moment of silence says all it needs to.

His eyes flicker between his leg and Poe, and he grins.]

So...Nikolai, huh?

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

Not quite a super deduction... but it's one I'd stake things on.

[He's throwing that joke Gogol used during the Clown Stabbing Incident right back at him... although Poe actually appears to find it funny this time... until Gogol speaks again and he turns red blushing. Even if he knows Gogol probably doesn't mean it... it's still an unfairly pretty man flirting at him. Still... he's used to it enough that he just grumbles. It's low, but not low enough that Gogol won't be able to hear it.]

And here I thought I'd escaped your attempts at flirting with me... I'd say I'm flattered, but I know you aren't serious. You call yourself a clown... not a fool.

[Because only a fool would fall for a depressed mess.]

[sendintheclown]

[Gogol laughs, and pats Poe's shoulder. Maybe he should feel a twinge of guilt that his incessant teasing has brought him to this point. Just a little one.]

You can relax, Detective! I'd just wanted to know what spurred that little slip up!

[Besides, the love of a clown is something no one should want.

He gives him another pat, and then pauses, a look of confusion and shock.]

Are we on first name terms? Should I be calling you Edgar now?

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

Well... now you know.

[Poe actually takes time to seriously contemplate the next thing Gogol says... and he's quiet for about three minutes before he decides on an answer.]

According to Terra's definition of what friendship is... while I'm don't think it fully describes whatever this is... You.. do fall under the definition... so I... um... I... suppose you could if you wanted to...?

[He's not sure how he'd explain away the change to the others... but... he'll worry more about that if Gogol actually decides to start doing that.]

[sendintheclown]

Well, now.

[They've danced around it enough, but there it is, in the master of friendship's own words. Sure, he's called others here friends of his, but with a detached irony that's necessary to make such claims in the first place. To jokingly call Poe such now would feel dangerously closer to a truth than a lie.

It's something he can't understand. He's a killer, a sadist, and done nothing right or good in the entire time he'd been here. Poe's pursuit of him in curiosity was one thing, but genuine friendship? Why, after all he's done?

It's one more thing he can't understand.]

I've actually grown fond of the names we use for each other.

[To be called nothing but 'Clown' separated him from whoever Nikolai Gogol is or was, that was one truth. The other truth was that it had started to feel like something of an in-joke. Clown, Detective. An unlikely pair. There was something fun about it.]

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

[It's not like he's not been co-workers with objectively terrible or morally grey people before.... He's no saint himself and has edged the line himself a few times through inaction.]

..... It has become something of an in-joke, hasn't it? I... can't say I've ever been apart of a circle with one of those before....

[He... sort of likes the idea of being apart of one.... although....]

..... Unless you count the speculation of Lovecraft's true nature, I suppose.... one popular subject of gossip in The Guild was on that... although everyone had their own theories... I think mine was regarded as a joke by some of them.

[Which... he doesn't blame them. But still.]

Personally I still maintain that he's not really an Ability user... but rather some nightmarish monster from the deep that's only poorly masquerading at being human...

[He only saw the guy's ability in action a few times.... but all of those gave him enough nightmare fuel for a few horror stories and lost sleep.]

..... I suppose that's why -despite my best efforts in the beginning- I have trouble regarding you as anything but human in the end. Despite what pop culture would tell you... clowns aren't all supernatural monsters like whatever Lovecraft is. Most are entertainers and fairly family friendly...

[A small amused smile forms on his face.]

.... you just happen to be the exception to the rule. An unfairly pretty feral murder clown that I still think should be put on a leash.

[He's getting better at this joking thing he thinks... or at least better at non-black humor types of jokes. This is called... ribbing or something he thinks??? Friends tease each other, right? ]

[sendintheclown]

[The talk of Lovecraft piques his curiosity; Dostoyevsky had only ever told him as much as he needed to, and he only had an idea of names of the members of the Guild...but a real life monster? Now that was something. But, he supposed their own team had one of those already, in a sense.

At Poe's attempt at a joke, he gives a small laugh. He's trying at least.]

There's nothing unfair about it, really. With such a charming personality, I've got to have the looks to match! [He snickers at his own irony.] But...you're mistaken, Detective. I'm nothing like a human.

[It's said with a grin, but a bittersweet one.]

You said it yourself- I'm just a feral clown!

[blackcatintheruemorgue]

[ Poe frowns at Gogol's bittersweet grin. Don't make him feel bad for you. That's not supposed to happen. But... they are friends so... he's... still very bad at this comforting thing but...]

As your friend... let me say this much. I... I never said you were just a feral clown. It's a part of your identity, yes, but it's not all of it... so don't simplify yourself to just a feral clown when you're far more complex person than that.